Article about Love Purgatory

Breakups are always hard because you have to mourn someone you loved and lost.

But, time heals everything, and eventually, you’ll meet someone else. Eventually, that former lover will become a distant memory.

But, this kind of breakup is not the same. This breakup happened with a person who, no matter what you do, you cannot get over.

Not a day goes by that this person doesn’t cross your mind and your heart feels heavy.

It’s usually because the relationship is unfinished. But, you can’t tell yourself that, and you certainly can’t believe it because it will literally drive you mad.

So instead, you tell yourself you are fine, and that you can move on. You get pretty close to fooling yourself.

That is, until you hear that song, see that photo, yearn to share something or wake up thinking about him or her.

Then you are right back to square one.

There are so many people who come in and out of your life. Some you date briefly and never give a second thought to, and some you like a lot, but it doesn’t work out.

Then, there are some who crush you, who take months to get over.

But this is different; this is the feeling you get when you know something has to end right now but isn’t over for good.

You can’t just say, “I wish you the best” and move on. You can’t end that chapter because you know you can’t quit them. Not yet, and maybe not ever.

And then, you are thrust into what I like to call “love purgatory.”

It’s a place where you know who the love of your life is, but you aren’t currently together.

Maybe you dated briefly, maybe you had a full-fledged relationship or maybe, you have never been officially together.

The connection with this person is so real and strong and magnetic that you are constantly pulled back. The relationship hasn’t reached its potential yet, so it can’t be over.

In fact, this might be the person you end up with. But, you aren’t together now because of timing, schedules, missed opportunities or blah, blah, blah.

So, you sit in love purgatory, just biding your time until you can both find each other again.

You don’t just sit around and listen to sad music and wait though.

You find distractions and push away what you feel in order to be a sane enough human being to function in life.

You meet other amazing, beautiful people with whom you want to work things out, but it never happens because something is off. He or she just isn’t _____ (fill in the blank with your person).

“She’s not Rachel,” is the famous line from “Friends.”

Although, it actually went more like, “She’s not Rachem,” for laughs. And, that is what this person, who has kept you in love purgatory, makes you feel; no one can ever compare.

Because when you know, you know. That connection comes around once, maybe twice, in a lifetime.

Your friends think you’re crazy, and you yourself feel crazy. Why, in a world full of billions of other people, are you allowing one to keep holding you back. You can’t answer that question.

“The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.” — Blaise Pascal

Some people meet someone, date, fall in love and live happily ever after.

Many others are not quite so fortunate. Some of us have to fight, breakup, makeup and go through hell with our person until it finally works out.

Maybe the problem is, again, timing. Maybe you have to learn and grow more before you can settle down.

Whatever the problem is, you know that eventually, the two of you will find each other again.

Because like Ross and Rachel, Carrie and Mr. Big, Allie and Noah and all the great love stories from movies and television, there are just some people who you can’t let go of and never will.

But, until you find your way back, you miserably sit in love purgatory, hoping to find someone or something to keep you occupied long enough to not self-destruct.

Some people will be outraged about this and think, “This is not how love is supposed to be,” or, “If you were mature about love it wouldn’t be this hard.”

But I beg to disagree, and would counter with, “How do you know?” Just because things were easy for you doesn’t mean they will be easier for everyone else.

People are very complicated and love is sometimes messy.

If it’s not that way for you, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It just means your path was easier.

For those of us currently in love purgatory, we will one day be with our person, too.

30

Today another page in my new chapter of life has begin and I should be grateful that all the things in my old chapter just passed.

Everybody seems to be scared to get older but I find it regular because getting older is just a new story that we have to follow. I may not have any special resolutions but I know what I have to do and God knows what I wish for.

I have learned a lot of things in 2014 and I wish for something bad to be really gone and longing for something better to happen in this phase of life.

I must say thank you for all the wishes it really means a lot. Lots of people are wishing me quite well and I hope God hears them and grant them.

Goodbye 2014 and I am please to say Welcome 2015 and let the story begins! 😊

Staind-Outside

And you, you bring me to my knees, again All the times, that I could beg you please, in vain All the times, when I felt insecure, for you And I leave, my burdens at the door But I'm on the outside, I'm looking in I can see through you, see your true colors 'Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me I can see through you, see to the real you All the times, that I felt like this won't end It's for you, and I taste what I could never have It was from you, all the times that I've cried My intentions, were full of pride But I waste, more time than anyone But I'm on the outside, I'm looking in I can see through you, see your true colors 'Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me I can see through you, see to the real you All the times, that I've cried All this wasted, it's all inside And I feel, all this pain I stuffed it down, it's back again And I lie, here in bed All alone, I can't mend But I feel, tomorrow will be okay But I'm on the outside, and I'm looking in I can see through you, see your true colors Inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me I can see through you, see to the real you

Jumpa lagi

Hallo Blog, Setelah sekian lama hampir genap 2 tahun saya tidak pernah menulis, akhirnya saya memberanikan diri lagi untuk menulis. Telah banyak sekali yang terjadi dalam kurun waktu selama ini, hanya saja saya masih bingung apakah saya harus menulisnya atau tidak karena jujurnya saya sudah tidak sanggup menahan rasa ini semua sendiri. Banyak sekali permasalahan yang timbul mulai dari pekerjaan, keluarga dan seseorang yang saya cintai. oh ya saya sudah bekerja di perusahaan baru by the way, sudah hampir 2 tahun. hanya saja pekerjaan yang saya cintai itu tidak seindah biasanya bahkan dengan posisi yang saya sudah punya sekarang. Banyak orang yang sirik bahkan mencoba mendukuni saya agar saya tidak betah dikantor, itulah bodohnya orang Indonesia, sedikit-sedikit pergi main ke dukun kalau dia tidak suka sama orang. Jika berbicara mengenai masalah pekerjaan tidak akan ada habisnya, selalu saja setiap harinya timbul permasalahan baru yang menguras otak dan emosi jiwa. Hal lain timbul dalam keluarga, ketika saya sudah penat bekerja, datang pulang ke rumah dan selalu disuguhkan pembicaraan mengenai uang! saya sudah sangat lelah mendengarnya setiap saat bahkan permasalahan antara nenek saya dengan menantunya yang tidak pernah ada habisnya..(what the fuck should i do?) Diantara hal itu semua yang paling menyakitkan adalah ketika pacar saya memutuskan saya, yang dimana dia telah berjanji untuk tidak pernah meninggalkan saya lagi, membuat saya percaya bahkan kita berbicara mengenai pernikahan, tetapi itu semua hancur lebur, dia melukai hati saya lagi dan saat ini dia bilang bahwa dia telah bersama orang lain, bagaimana bisa semudah dan secepat itu dia melupakan janji2nya padaku???! hancur sudah perasaan ini. Akibat dari semua hal yang terjadi diatas menyebabkan saya jatuh sakit, dokter bilang ini akibat stress, tingkat akumulasi stress saya sudah parah hingga menyebabkan saya terkapar tanpa daya selama satu minggu dirumah. Sudah letih hati ini, sudah jenuh perasaan ini, sudah capek rasanya menangis, terdiam dalam belenggu mau menjalani sesuatu selalu ada perasaan bersalah seolah semua apa yang saya telah lakukan selalu salah. Mereka hanya bisa berkomentar tanpa mengetahui apa yang sebenarnya terjadi, ya saya memang telah divonis stress oleh dokter, tetapi apakah mereka bisa mengerti bahwa penyebab saya mengalami hal tersebut adalah karena ulah perbuatan mereka sendiri?? Ya Allah ingin rasanya saya berteriak meminta tolong kepadaMu karena saya memang sungguh tidak kuat menghadapi ini semua! Sekarang saya hanya bisa berdo'a agar saya dipertemukan kembali dengan orang yang saya cintai dan berdo'a untuk dia kembali seutuhnya kepada saya agar kita bisa membina rumah tangga yang sudah kita rencanakan berdua menjadi nyata. Aku bersumpah aku mencintai dia sepenuh hati dan selamanya. Lucu, dalam kurun waktu selama 2 tahun yang saya paparkan disini hanya kesedihan, saya belum merasakan kesenangan kecuali ketika saya bertemu dengan teman-teman baru dari kantor yang sebagian dari mereka cukup baik menemani hari-hari saya, bercerita, pergi makan dsb. Pesan untuk seseorang nan jauh disana, saya masih akan berusaha meyimpan uang untuk tabungan masa depan kita, saya berharap kamu bisa kembali kepada saya dan maaf bukannya saya jahat, semoga orang yang sekarang menjadi pacar kamu akan menyakiti perasaan kamu sama seperti kamu menyakiti perasaan saya atau bahkan lebih buruk dari itu supaya kamu bisa membuka mata kamu untuk benar-benar melihat siapa yang pantas jadi pendamping kamu, karena selama saya kenal dan berpacaran dengan kamu, belum pernah sekalipun saya mencoba untuk menyakiti perasaan kamu, dan saya real dengan apa yang saya miliki untuk membuat kita berdua bahagia baik itu perasaan ataupun materi. Terima kasih, mungkin mulai sekarang saya akan sering menulis lagi.

sit, think, pray

I don't even know what to write here but today (26 july 2012) will always be remembered as one of the most -painful- day that torn me into pieces. half of me is lying on the country name: spain and the city name: alonsotegi i just like to pray to God at this time because now i am not able to do anything. God, if you could please put me together again with the person that i love the most, I'm saying PLEASE and I can wait until it happens. Maybe it sounds funny where I know God doesn't read or write blog, oh well you know what I feel more than anyone. He's just the best part of me that I can't let go.

father ?

This is the picture of my father's new family

Such a happy family indeed, ironically you have the eldest son from your first marriage that have been abandoned for more than 20 years. Yet, knowing you now is not doing any better to me. You paid for my university thank you for that but that is not all. I want to have a real communication between father and son and that means by not dealing with your f***ing stupid sister who tends to hurt me even more. I want to be treated fair enough because I am your own son not your step son. Don't lie and don't fake it by telling others that you want to meet me and so on because you just lie to yourself. Do you still wanna act like this? come on grow up! you are an old man, face me yourself because I am right here! You and your sister are the king and queen of a manipulation kingdom!

I can't live without you